Difficult day in school today. I thought my 6th period was coming along, but as soon as I tried something different with them - I put them in pairs to peer edit - there were problems. Kids were off topic left and right, they were talking about everything but for their essays, and it seemed as if nobody was following my very explicit directions. It has been a pretty difficult week for me and I almost lost my temper once or twice, but I guess this job teaches patience if nothing else. What perhaps added to my frustration was the fact that my 5th period had fielded the same exact set of directions smoothly not fifteen minutes prior. Although I do think the quality of student is exponentially better in my 5th period, I still fault myself for not being able to handle that 6th period.

My mood fluctuates a hundred times each day, but the past week has seemed to include more than its fair share of valleys. Just when I thought I was headed in the right direction, numerous circumstances have combined to turn my ship into harsh waters. I am battling a nasty fit of homesickness, and I seem to blame every problem I encounter on my surroundings (the state I have come to call *#&$!@% Mississippi) instead of myself.

True to this recent development of constant pouting, this entry itself has become obnoxiously whiney. I sometimes become angry with myself for such moods and Teacher Corps for encouraging me to complain. It seems like many people in the program like to hear themselves complain, and I hate to think I am becoming one of them. We are made to think that teaching is such a difficult pursuit that it is acceptable to continually hark on those tribulations. And as I sit here and whine, I am becoming increasingly angry with myself for even entertaining and verbalizing those complaints. The only thing that bothers me more about other people's bitching and moaning is when I lend my voice to that unproductive chorus. I don't know what to do to rebound from this slump, but I know if I am going to remain in this program and in this profession I must do all I can to find the energy that brought me to Mississippi.